Part II - Conquered!

Ok, today I completed part 2 of my first wedding photography job. I was a total idiot and was a tiny bit late because I could not, for the life of me, find a parking spot! The Trax ticket machines were not working so I had to drive to the SL temple. And on a Saturday evening, no less. So, Heavenly Father intervened and got me a spot and it was wonderful and the pictures were wonderful and I didn't do anything stupid, so I'd say it was a productive evening, as well as a learning experience. (Always leave a half hour before the half hour early that was originall planned.) But anyway, I was not really late because the bride and groom had just come out, but still. Heavens. So I'm going to post a couple pics - not of the wedding itself because I haven't looked at them yet, (Just did it earlier this evening) but I will put up a couple of the open house last week, because I like them.

These were some of my favorites - I love candids! I mentioned this to someone before, but I loved the power that came from having a camera in my hand! People would see me coming and would either pose, or go about their business so I could get my candid shots. Only a couple people ran away or tried to hide. But I feel very authorative when I have a special purpose for taking pictures - it's totally awesome and lets me do what I want to do. So it was a good day. All that's left is the reception in Saint George in a few weeks. Wish me luck. :D

10 Cents Toward College Football!

Today I got dragged into a man-battle with the accounting department, and I'm not sure how I'm going to do. College football is starting this weekend. I was given a piece of paper with the games and teams and I was to make my choices for the winners. I looked them all up online (because I know nothing of college football except for the Utah teams) and made my decisions based on whether or not I liked their mascots. :D Then I was told that I had to donate 10 cents so that the winner could take all the money put in and buy themselves a soda or candy bar from the break room when all was over. Hahaha. Such exquisite incentive!
I left to take a short break, and when I got back to my desk I found that one of my coworkers was sitting in my chair! I was taken quite by surprise. Quite. And then he just sat there, smelling my candle, looking at my pictures; but the only thing I cared about was the fact that he was still sitting, which means I was still standing. And I wanted to sit. XP Aaach. Sitting in my chair! It was so weird. He is odd.
So I have the actual wedding photos to take care of tomoroow at the Salt Lake Temple. I'm excited. They liked the open house pics, and I was more nervous about those than I am of these. I'm so excited. This will be fun! And, I really don't have anything else to add. I think my posts are more entertaining when I'm at work because I'm in more of a cheeky mood. And, well, I'm not at work. :D

Kokomo

I finished reading Pride & Prejudice yesterday. I spent a whole 5 days reading it. I'm sad now, and need a new book to read. I'm thinking maybe the Grapes of Wrath or A Wrinkle In Time, or something like that. There are way too many awesome books that I have never had the opportunity to read - and some that I HAVE had the opportunity to read, but sadly didn't take it up.

So there's this branch that will send me the note manifest (a piece of paper showing all the notes they have sent in their UPS package and their contents) in hard copy form, (which is how it's supposed to be done) but then they also fax it to me. All I ask is, "What's the point, for heaven's sake!" Maybe they think the manifest will be lost somehow in between them and me, I don't know, or maybe they are bored at their jobs like me, and fax it just ot have something to do. We'll probably never know. Another weird thing...another branch will send my notes in the UPS packages their files go in, (Which they are not supposed to do, but many branches think they are far too superior to be descending to the level of people who follow RULES) so the shipping supervisor brings them to me when she has located them, and there is always a loverly little post-it note on them, which reads as follows:

NOTE CUSTODIAN

NOTE CUSTODIAN

*EDIT* Look, I got another one today! I decided to take a picture for your enjoyment. :D

Notice anything strange? Yeah, I can't figure out why they put "NOTE CUSTODIAN" on it twice, either. It's handwritten, so someone had to write it, which means someone wrote it twice, which means someone is undeniably strange. Maybe they think I don't know who I am or what my job title is, so they make double sure the note gets where it needs to be, since they aren't sending it to the correct recipient in the first place! Oh, to not be surrounded by dopes! Okay, okay, I have another one. Same branch as the first one I mentioned: when something is missing, she will call to ask me to check if it's in the file, etc. etc. Then she will call one, sometimes two more people to ask the same thing, so whoever finds it first, the others will be like, "No, we can't find it, sorry." and the person from the branch will say, "But so-and-so found it for me." then the person who found it will go to the other(s) showing that she found it for us, since ******* asked her to get it, and the rest of us will, somewhat angrily (from the wasting of our time), think to ourselves, "Why did she ask us to look for it, then?" Heavens! There are many more interesting people I have worked with, like the closer from Orlando who sent me a chocolate ear inside the folder of one of the notes on Halloween, the other closer from Dallas who sent me two DVDs for my birthday (yowza), the branch manager who says "Arizona is nice because it's a DRY heat!", or the people in my own office who will never cease to amaze me in some way or another. I'm really very glad my work life is not so dull. Slow and boring at times, but never dull.

I have my follow-up eye appointment today. Hopefully the silly doctor will notice that my eyes have gotten worse and it's not just a swelling of the cornea, unless, of course, my corneas have been swollen for....a year. :D Besides, I have been seeing spots more and more, and that's probably a bad thing. I guess I just want him to tell me that I need surgery, because I know I need it since my eyes get worse every time I go to the doctor, but I don't know if I will ever actually do it unless I am told that I have to. Surgeries frighten me.

I also need a new bed. My futon hurts my back, and I feel it every morning. This particular morning, I could feel the springs in several different places, and I was not comfortable. I'm going to get a tempur-pedic bed thingy. F'sho! Why are matresses so expensive? They are metal, stuffing and fabric. Is it a difficult-to-find fabric? Are they a pain to make? Many times they are more expensive than the bed you buy them for! I'm definitely going to research this.

Oh, some of you might be wondering why the title of this post is called "Kokomo". I'll enlighten you: I tried to think, but came up with nothing, so in absence of a clever and related title for this post, I simply chose to put in the title of the song I happened to be listening to, to save me some time and effort. It worked. And now I even made it relevant.

Will I Ever Learn?

I felt ridiculously fat this morning. I suspect the 2 burgers, chicken nuggets and fries I ate last night at about 9:30 or 10. I don't know if I love or hate those late-night wendy's cravings. So I've learned that eating destructively large amounts of food late at night is, in fact, a bad thing. Pity. But I didn't let that get to me. Ohhh, no. I went to the gas station for some long-awaited nachos since I skipped breakfast. (I wasn't really hungry in the morning...go figure.) I forgot to bring a lunch, but no bother, the nachos are tiding me over for now. But then management announced that they have cake, pie, cookies and grapes in the break room for the August birthdays. I skipped the cake.....but took a piece of pie (Key lime! Goodness yes.), a cookie, and some grapes, to make myself feel better. I haven't eaten them yet. But mark my words, I will.

Ha! There's one now! See? I feel better about my recent food choices already.

So I'm trying to decide if I'm nervous for tomorrow or not. I have part 1 of the wedding photography job going on, but I know me - I'm very good at not letting something scary bother me until the very very last minute. So basically, I'll be all cool and collected until I get behind my camera. Then with any luck at all I'll be able to actually move my fingers and take pictures that don't suck. I'm telling myself it will all be ok. It will all be ok. It will.

I rearranged the contents of my desk top today. It's nice to have a change. I can't figure out if this new position my computer is in is good or not, but the only REAL reason I moved everything is to eliminate the constant surprise that my coworkers have bene bestowing upon me lately. Now, I can see people before they get here. Muahaha. Well, somewhat. I can only see the tops of their heads bobbing along the wall until they are right here next to me. That's still something.

Ha! I ate all my grapes. they tasted kind of strange. O_o I wonder what kind they were.

Whoa! There are two last names here on my list, right next to each other: RICHARDS and SIMMONS! How awesome is that! I love it when that happens! I've had a TRACY and MASON (Dick Tracy and Perry Mason), a SHAWN and CONNEREY (different spellings, but still cool), a MUSTARD and MAYO (Probably the best ever), and other such fantastically amusing name pairs. I should really write these down....

As a bonus for me being so good today, I'm going to see if I can leave early, since I'll have all my hours in at 3, and absolutely nothing left to do. At least, none of the joyful mortgage note activities that I get paid to do. :D Ciao, baby!

All Hail the Freeloader Fork

That's part of my birthday gift to my friend. (I don't think he blogs, so I'm safe to post what I got him.) Behold! (were you somehow able to see it) The Freeloader Fork! Made of the finest in sterling silvers, the handle extends up to 2 feet, enabling its user the utmost ease in carefully and delicately relieving food from his company's plates from a safe and comfortable distance. It can also be used as a backscratcher, or a pointer thingy for boring office meetings. I'm sure many more uses are to be discovered, but that's all they put on the back of the box. I also got him other, more conservative gifts to be thoughtful. And then a can of ravioli. :D I'm quite excited.

Speaking of stealing food, I pilfered some chocolate from the final docs department. Shh! Don't tell.

So I found a website where I can read books online. I began Pride & Prejudice yesterday, and I've read about 18 chapters. I wish that I could boast about so great an accomplishment in such a short time, and while working, nonetheless, but I don't believe the chapters are very long. :D Pity. It's a very agreeable book, and yes, reading it has made me feel like I have a certain air about me, and that I should grace everyone in my company with my accomplished speech and use of distinguished vocabulary. Haha. I should have just been born back then, I suppose - being surrounded by men in breeches would easily put me in a constant state of enraptured stupidity. Sounds like bliss, don't you agree?

By the way, thank you all for commenting on my posts - It makes me glad to see that you enjoy reading into my life, as uninteresting as it is. :D

GAH! I've lost my contact lens somewhere in my eye!

Lemonade and Brownies

That's what I'm eating. It's true. And delicious. Are you jealous?

So, I might have another wedding photography job! I just got in touch with an old friend from junior high who's getting married to another friend. I haven't seen them in ages. They will be quite the interesting couple. Anyway, she would like me to photograph their wedding, they just don't know when they're getting hitched. I wonder if this wedding photography thing will really take off. I don't want to photograph weddings exclusively, especially since I am more into fine art photography, but this IS Utah, for heaven's sake. I think this might be foreshadowing though. Me photographing weddings as a career must mean that I myself will never marry. Kind of like that Wedding Planner movie. Except I'm no Jennifer Lopez. Thank goodness. And she DOES get married, doesn't she? Oh well, I've never been one for chick flicks.

My printer pal has started talking to me again. Ever since I told him he had a nice shirt it was like he was avoiding me. It was weird, but funny. Men. He was gone for a week, sure, but he still didn't talk to me when he was here. But he came back Monday, and yesterday at the printer he said my hair was cool. :D Rock on. But I wish he were LDS. :-(

My friend's birthday is this weekend and I don't know what to get him. I usually don't have problems finding gifts for people, (If I must say, I am an excellent gift-giver) but this has been difficult for some reason. And the butthead is taking ME out on a date on his birthday. I don't understand that. I said I'd take HIM out but noooooo he has to be all gentlemanly. Hopefully I'll find something good for him today after work. He's pretty easy to shop for, but I don't have a lot of time. And I have another friend who's birthday was Sunday. I need to get her something too, even though she told me not to. Bwahaha.

So today I'd like to stand and share with the group.
Hello. My name is Heather, and I am a blogging addict. I use blogging as an activity to keep me occupied at work, but I fear that it will grow in the coming months into something I can't control. Thank you.
*Well done, Heather. The first step to recovery is recognition.*

Picture Quiz

I shall post again today, since I've been wanting to do this quiz thingy ever since I saw it on a friend's blog. Answer the questions, but instead of writing the answers, google image your answer and post the picture you like best to match the question!

Best Friend's Nickname

Past Love

(I didn't put anything related to video games, which makes that so funny)

Past Pet

Place I Was Born

College Degree

First Name

Screen Name

Place I Most Want To Visit

Middle Name

Grandma's Name

Favorite Thing To Do

Favorite Object

First Job

Where I Live Now

Last Name

Bad Habit

What I Am Doing Right Now

Favorite Color

Favorite Animal

Favorite Food

Age

Five Things I Luuurrve

I was tagged for a quiz thingy and didn't even know it until now. O_o So here I go! And I tag all of you who are reading this. All of you. Except the ones who have done it already. Here are 5 things I love: (you do the same)

1. Music - There has never been a time in my life or a feeling in my heart that I couldn't match with the perfect song. I've spent so much of my time finding new artists, and it has most often yielded pelasant results. I listen to everything in the spectrum of the music world. (Some considerably less than others, like country, rap....polka) I have also spent most of my life wielding some sort of instrument - violin, guitar, bass, piano. Unfortunately I'm not good enough to create music of my own worth listening to...but then again I've never really tried. I'd like to get to that point eventually. :D

2. Art - "Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life." ~ Pablo Picasso. Art has always been an outlet for me, and I've enjoyed everything about it, whether it be googling some artist or another, reading a tutorial on how to create the effect of light with a pencil, or just making dorky comic strips in high school. :D I haven't done much on the creating end lately, and it makes me sad. I even bought supplies to start oil painting, something I've wanted to do for quite a while.

3. Men - What? You can't say you didn't expect this one. Men are fantastic!

4. Languages - for me, there is so much power in learning another language, and let's face it, power is cool. Beside the fact that you are stretching your own knowledge of what you know and have known your whole life to accomodate for something entirely different, it's comforting and empowering to know that you can be a bridge between cultures.

5. The Gospel - There is so much I could say about having the Gospel in my life and how it has altered my life for the better every single day. I'm so blessed to know that I'm taken care of for eternity. :D

I want to put other things on here, like photography, food, shoes...but alas....only 5.

Ode to a Monday

More like a dirge, actually. To quote a comic I remember from my childhood: "Whoever invented Mondays should be dragged into the street and shot."
Well, sorry, but that would be the guy upstairs, and I daresay He can't be shot. So the creation of the Earth began on a Monday, I guess they can't all be bad. :D

Lucky me, I'm covering for the other note person today, and by the looks of it, since I'm here, posting, I still have extra time to waste! This is very amazing to me. Granted, this is a slow period and things will speed up soon, but heavens! Being bored sure gets boring quickly. :D A buddy told me to read books online, something I have been trying to do but couldn't find a decent website. Google books, apparently, is where I want to go. Or something like that. After I do a bit of real work I'll check it out. That way I can read while doing nothing, and yet, still look like I'm doing something! Cool beans.

Yes, I realize it's the beginning of a new week and I haven't put up a new photograph. Too bad. I might put one of the SL Temple up later today; we'll see. I was there Saturday mostly to take sample pictures of good wedding photo spots, so I wasn't focusing too hard on photos for my personal arsenal. I could pull out an old one, perhaps. I'm itching to do some glamour shots or something though. I need to hold another photo shoot.

I dyed my hair over the weekend. I am now a brilliant brunette. It's pretty cool - now my hair matches my eyebrows, haha. If I ever get around to taking pictures (or having someone else take pictures) of me, (har har) I'll put one up and you can all see (those of you who don't see me regularly).

Hahahahahahahaha!
OK.
This guy who lurks somewhere in my building (I don't know where) just sent out an email to EVERYONE in the company, (branches and all) and guess what the email is about? Grammar. Yep. He apparently won some sort of award somewhere that tells him he's smart and he is now going to be sending out emails to all of us to help us (or rather, those of us who need help) with the spelling, grammar, structure and whatnot of our emails. In a way, I'm very very glad, because heaven knows there are people who work here who couldn't spell to save their lives, but then again, it all seems kind of silly. However, I think I'm mostly just amused. It's kind of fun. And yet, disturbingly sad...

P.S. today's "lesson" is on affect vs. effect. Oooooooer.

Woot I finally locked in a date with the busiest man on earth! I told him he'd have to make time for me or else I'd be convinced that I'm ugly and unfit for human socializing and will live out the rest of my days in a cave somewhere. (I don't think he believed me :D) But he said he was actually planning to ask me to do something this weekend. I don't know how true that is, but whatever.

There's something unidentifiable floating in my cup of water. (I've misplaced my bottle, else I wouldn't have this problem. : ( sadness)

Lurve.

What REALLY goes on in the Single's Ward

I love mingles. :D My table rocks. And I had a good VT lesson today. After all the goofiness and nickname-building, of course.

So after the mingle and before Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, I went to my neighbor's house to get some of his photography equipment that he's letting me play with, and got stuck there for about an hour looking at his prints of rodeos and dancers. He's pretty good. I'm glad he was able to show someone his stuff; he seems like he misses it.

I went for a jog today for the first time since last November, and hoo-boy, my thighs are still stiff! I should stick to biking.

And the most exciting thing about today (I know what you're all thinking - it will be difficult to top everything else!) I'm thinking that I might sign up for a class or two for the fall semester. That starts next week. :D I love whims.

Going...Going......Gone

I believe I have ruined my chances yet again.....and I don't even know what I did! Funny how that happens. Well, no, not funny. Ridiculous is more the word I'm looking for.

European mountainside, here I come.

I'm A Designer!

I'm bored today at work, (surprise!) so a coworker sent me here to design a room for the Pier 1 $1000 giveaway. I designed a room, and you should all vote for me so I can win the $1000 and spend it on cool stuff for a house that I will probably never have.

http://pier1.eprize.net/uroom/index.tbapp?page=gallery

Just search for my email address to find it: bellapazzo@hotmail.com

Hip hip huzzah!

You can design your own room here:

http://pier1.eprize.net/uroom/index.tbapp?utm_source=Pier1&utm_medium=Pier1&utm_campaign=Pier1

I wish there was more of a variety in the stuff you could use, but it was still fun, and wasted about 20 minutes of my time. (Mostly because the cursor sucks. :D)

Lurve!

A Follow-Up From The Branch

Remember the Gum Fiasco I had a little while back? Gum Fiasco #1, I believe it was. Anyway, I had to post a little follow-up regarding it. Today in the mail, I got a package from that one branch who sent me gum before that I gave away, with a new pack of gum inside and a sticky note attached that said, in large, bold letters, "Gum for Heather". Hahaha I was so amused, and it pretty much made my day, since I've been a little frustrated. As if you couldn't tell from the previous post. :D

Grrr!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GAH GAH GAAAHHHH!!! ARGH!!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
Grrrrr

These Are Gravely Overdue

I look quite like a librarian today. It's kind of fun. Dang, it would rock so hard if I worked in a library. One of those old-fashioned libraries. Or a university library. Well, I'd be happy with any library. Moving on.

I would be in such a lousy mood today if I didn't have such a good time last night. Meaning I got 3 1/2 hours of sleep and am sick from eating nothing but oreos and nutty bars. :D But it was so nice to go out with him, it doesn't matter. No snoggage though. I would have if I weren't so chicken. Mark my words, I will get myself on the snogging scale, if it's the last thing I do! And that might not be too far from the truth. Not that kissing somebody would kill me, but that it will take me so long to get one that I'd be old and near dead anyway. :D Har har har.

So I have my guitar lesson tomorrow and I haven't practiced yet. Crap.

And today at 7:30 I have a meeting with the people whose wedding I'm photographing. I'm wondering if I will have time to take a nap AND practice guitar before then. Probably not. Oooer. I got it - I'll take a nap before I go to the meeting, then I'll be able to stay awake for a bit before I get tired again (like...an hour; two, tops. haha) so I'll practice guitar after the meeting, before bed. Yep. That sounds like a winner.

I also have my eye doctor appointment today at 4. I hope that doesn't cut into my nap time. O_o My left eye is worse again, and I see spots more than I ever have before. I'm thinking they might tell me that I need lasik. I want it anyway, but I'm poor, and afraid of surgeries. But I'd rather not have to worry about my eyes getting worse every 6 months. Maybe I have some terrible eye disease. Bwahaha my mother was convinced that I was going to die yesterday, since I sleep with my eyes part open, and that's a sign of this incurable disease that this kid died from. Yeah, that's what happens when you google something; you get every possible definition of the thing. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to die. Apparently lots of people sleep like that. It's just weird, that's all. I can live with that.

Heather, Ace Detective - Maybe

Another day, another adventure in the grey-upholstered, floursecent-lit world I work in. Today I got to play super-sleuth. The situation: Our victim, a small, defenseless note, was noticed missing at approximately 12:16 p.m. Those who had accompanied it and guaranteed its safe passage could not account for its whereabouts. I, being the ace detective that I am, and reputed far and wide for my unmatched skills in the art of discovering foul play, was naturally called upon to assist in the case.

Suspect #1: Myself. I have been known to have lost a document or two in the depths of my desk, startlingly cluttered as it can be at times. But after a thorough investigation of every nook and cranny surrounding me, I was able to deduce that I was not, in fact, responsible.
Suspect #2: The delivery boy. (Closer by day - kidnapper by night?) After extensive questioning, he claimed that he had searched his car and the floor outside his building in a frenzy when he found out it was missing. I myself walked outside into the bright daylight to check the grounds and under vehicles to see if it was a mere mistake. I did not find it, but a gut feeling tells me this kid is not the culprit.
Suspect #3: The shipping supervisor. (Petty thug or thief extraordinaire?) The delivery boy had taken her a file and thought that maybe our missing note was hidden beneath its manilla covering, like the sweet filling of a jelly donut. Or had she stolen it? Further investigation would be sure to unearth some motive or another.
Suspect #4: The Payroll department. (Mafia of the mortgage world?) The branch manager suggested that perhaps the delivery boy had stuffed the missing note in the inbox for the payroll department in his haste to return to his job. A quick run-over at the receptionist's desk revealed nothing of the sort. Unless someone from the payroll department had noticed the misplaced note early on and had taken advantage of the mistake, no doubt with the intent to use it as blackmail to up their chances of advancement or perhaps a fatter Christmas bonus in their bank account.

Exhausted from the day's hard work, I finally sat back down into my familiar faux-leather chair to begin putting the pieces together. I had not been in my own thoughts for 10 minutes when a member of the funding team found me in my frustrations. What she had for me was truly startling: Our missing note!

And so, needless to say, all was made right again. The corporate world resumed its menial tasks and mundane procedures, but they did it with a greater sense of security, knowing that Heather, Ace Detective, would always be on the case.

All that's left to say is, this was a job well done.

Summer Days?

Ok so I said one a week, but I have been photoshop-happy, so here's another picture that I took. (and edited)

I have been calling it Summer Days, but that's kind of overused. Any suggestions? :D

A Warm Welcome

I finally got to go back to my own ward today. :) I missed them. And so, during the mingle, a bunch of us were sitting together, talking about stuff. Naturally. The conversation turned to names, because there were two of us Heathers there at the table. I started talking about how a heather is a flower that doesn't exactly smell the best. So everyone started putting their two cents in, of course, about me being smelly. "At least Heathers are pretty!" someone mentioned. So then another friend suggested making me business cards that simpy said: "Heather. Stinky but pretty." Then that thought spread to other things like t-shirts, and now I will be forever known as the stinky but pretty one. Hahaha. It could be worse. But that conversation went on a lot longer than I would have imagined, and I have a feeling that it won't end for a while, especially since others kept coming to our table, no doubt wondering what the commotion was, and now half the ward is probably "in on it". I then proceeded to inquire of my other friends, asking if I smelled bad. I got mostly weird looks.

Aside from that, here is my very first photograph that I'm going to be putting up here. It's one that I actually took at a family party of my little sister showing me the candy she got. I don't know why, but I really like it. I decided to play in photoshop so I desaturated everything but the candy. I think it's rather fun. :D Let me know what you think.

And! I have a hot date this week. :D

Hello! Lovely Silly

I highly recommend everybody go to the link on the right-hand side of my page for Engrish.com. It's the most hilarious website ever, seeing as how it's all about the dreadfully sad bits of English text found in other countries. Something tells me that their translators didn't really speak English fluently. Or...at all. A lot of it kind of looks like someone just picked up an English dictionary and tried to form complete sentences using their own sentence structure, like many people do. Others are just portraying the fetish for random English words that foreigners seem to love - apparently the same way Americans enjoy, say, Japanese characters on their clothing without actually knowing what it says, according to my sister, who went to Japan. But the results, as shown in the website, are destructively hilarious. :D Feel enjoy!

Want to know how much people love me? Well, certain people, at least. One of my friends apparently values my friendship so much that I can call her an elephant (not....directly, of course) and she will not even argue! This is truly an amazing gift!

I haven't heard from the man of my dreams for a while. At least I think he is the man of my dreams. He certainly is my type, and I think if I were to get him into some breeches like Mr. Darcy, I would be perfectly content for life. I'm wondering though if he really feels about me how I have been hoping he does. I dunno, I'm trying to not let myself get too attached, but it's kind of difficult. :) It's always the guys I want that I have a hard time actually getting. Everyone else won't leave me alone, but the one I want, noooooo, he can't be a good boy like the others. And more than once it's been this way. What is with that?

My guitar lesson was pretty cool; I'm excited to continue my skills. (or, rather...GET some skills) I was a little sad though when I cut my nails so that I could play. Stupid, I know, but longer nails make my hands look less manly. :D By the way, I found the bass guitar I want. Hohohoooo so cool. It's a nice starter bass, so it's pretty inexpensive, and comes with an amp. And it's red. Perfect. What I'd REALLY like to get is a stand-up bass, but I'm not rich. And I think after I get pretty decent at the bass I will go for cello. Cellos are sexy. Sexy-awesome. I want to be able to play some Apocalyptica songs one day. :D

I'm just about finished with the comic strip I did for a friend. It's pretty dang amazing, except the motorcycle looks a little funny. But it's a comic strip, who's going to care?

Not him, I hope. O_o

Wasting Away In An Idle Stupor

I'm bored.

There's not enough work here.

And I'm trying to sort through some old stuff so that I can actually claim some accomplishment today, but the website I need is down. Of course.

That leaves blogging. Unfortunately nothing much has happened since yesterday. I did some shopping, started a new book, sat in a massage chair, and ate some muffins. Hooplah. Let me instead bring up something that I want to do in the near future:

I have wanted to do something like this for a while, and some of my friends have started it, so I don't see why I shouldn't. I'd like to merge my love of photography and design into my blog somehow, so I'm thinking that maybe once a week I will post some photograph I have taken specifically for the purpose of capturing something that I find beautiful and sharing it. There are a few photo shoots that I have been wanting to direct, but I can't do that until I have space for them in my section of the house, so for now I'll just take my camera with me everywhere and see what I can come up with. :D Hopefully you all can appreciate and enjoy the simple things that I do, in photograph form. Feel free to leave comments or critiques when I begin (I know some of you are photographers as well, and just love this kind of stuff. :D)

On a side note, I'm not sure how crazy I am about this back corner desk anymore. Yeah, it's great for privacy and stuff, and the fact that I am against a real wall instead of other cubicle walls makes me kind of feel like I have an actual office and therefore makes me feel more important, but it is a lot easier for people to sneak up on me because my peripheral vision is limited. Most people don't mean to do it, but then there are those like one of my friends here who enjoys hiding around the corner, waiting for me to walk out and unexpectedly see her there, lurking in wait. Ha ha ha. Very funny indeed.

Oh look, now the entire system is down. "You are not authorized to view this page."

Wanna bet? Stupid server.

Thoughts

I'm going to be serious here for a moment. I have been thinking, and about a lot of things. I need to put my thoughts into words to stay sane.

I have been noticing some things lately:

1. Change is difficult for me to accept. I have a sort of fervor toward things new, so why is it so difficult to take hold and accelerate those changes? Or at least to not start them and then be afraid to commit to them? I suspect fear, plain and simple. The funny thing about fear is that there are so many different forms, levels and layers of it that you can spend your whole life with it and not even notice. It's so easy to cover up and push aside; even to accept and justify, but what is it really keeping us from? I have missed out on an unfathomable amount of opportunities in my life that could have done me loads of good and given me invaluable lessons, all because I did not want to come out of the safety net that held me near the things I am familiar with. And I mean the little things too. I could have been concert mistress in junior high. I could have won spelling bees or science fairs. I could have taken those dance classes and right now could be really fantastic at something that I love to do. I could have more friends, more relationships, more connections, more talents, more experience, more confidence and more fun if I would just let go of that tiny sliver of fear that keeps me from being who I really am.

2. I have been very diligent in keeping my expectations low so as to not be disappointed when things don't turn out in my favor, but for the first time I realize how difficult it is to loosen my hold on something I've already set my heart on.

3. I have always thought that I don't care what people think about me, but I really do, and I want them to think good things.

4. I have never in my life been so bemused as to which career path I should take. Ever. And I can't shake the feeling that I am running out of time.

5. I have heard it said that things can become most difficult when you are on the right path in your life, so I'm hoping that all of this signifies a happy ending, granted I stick it through.

And 6. I have never been more grateful and relieved to have the Gospel in my life and to know that it will all work out.

Insecurity

Somebody please tell me: how does one convince themself that the nice things people say are true? Shouldn't it be natural to assume that they are, without doubting them, because they are kind? Hmmm.

On a different note, today is pay day. :) And I have a little laugh for you:

Funny work conversation today:

Coworker 1 (to Coworker 2): I hope you get eaten by a 10 foot-inch snake.
Me: Foot-inch?
Coworker 2: Don't ask questions, Heather.

Two Gum Fiascos in 20 Minutes

Fiasco #1: In one of the UPS packages I received in the mail today, someone from one of our branches put a pack of gum in with my regular mail, as well as some stuff she wanted me to transfer to another employee in my building. Since I do not normally get treats from the branches anymore, I assumed the gum was for the coworker, and so gave it to her. However I found out that the gum was intended for me, and now I feel really really bad for giving away a present. I wanted that gum, too. *pout* I rarely get treats, and when I do, I give them away like a doofus. I am saddened. And so, to further illustrate this doofusness, I will go on to Fiasco #2: My friend gave me a piece of gum before I got my packages in. Chewing away happily, I began to go through my notes, making sure they are originals and drawn up correctly and what not. While double-checking a particular signature that did not look original, I let my mouth hang open just slightly and there went the gum, right on the note! (which WAS original, by the way.) After staring in horror at my idiocy, (These are original notes - the $$ of the loan, and if I ruin one I am officially stupid.) I was able to realize that the gum was not stuck to the paper at all and I was saved. So, nothing truly extraordinary really happened, but blog-worthy nonetheless.

Oh! And I figured out why my posts are mostly about work. You ready to hear this?

........

It's because I have no life.

I Need Front Row!

Dave Matthews is coming in August. Well, the Dave Matthews BAND is coming in August, but obviously, Dave Matthews is the only one I'm interested in, since he has the sexiest lips known to man. (His music is good too :D) I want to go more than I want food or air, but it's a bit expensive. However, I think I will just have to pay for the good tickets anyway, seeing as how I am going to be throwing him my panties.

Musings

First off, the funeral for Lucas was absolutely beautiful. I'm going to miss him terribly, but I'm so glad his battle is over and he's in the safety of Heavenly Father's arms. :)

So BYU has a language program that sounds interesting. I just might end up going there after all. Now I just need to find a job that will pay for my schooling. :D haha! I have been looking for houses/apartments down there though; I'm getting pretty excited, we'll see what happens.

(Gah, I have eaten so many tootsie rolls today, and it's only noon.)

So, I wish to express my confusion concerning the male mind. I will never understand it. There's this guy at work who I would flirt with at the printer and who I was told was interested in me, so one day I tell him how awesome his shirt is, and he hasn't talked to me since. ..... Hello? what does that mean? I don't get it. Good thing I lost interest in him or else I might go crazy overthinking it and wondering what was so blatantly obvious about his shirt that was so terribly wrong I should have noticed and never commented on it in the first place or something. O_o I could go on for days on the subject of male minds, but it hurts thinking about it.

I start guitar lessons this coming Thursday. I haven't taken lessons since high school - a friend of the family is teaching me in exchange for violin lessons. How utterly terrifying. I haven't played violin much since I graduated high school, and even then, I switched to guitar and bass my senior year, only playing violin for the musical. Needless to say, I don't have much confidence in the teaching area. Though I did ok teaching two of my siblings, they are younger. I don't know how to teach adults. We will see what happens I guess; I just hope I don't teach something entirely incorrect. I don't want to be responsible for corrupting someone. yikes. How does Chelsea do it? Teach, I mean. She is a brave soul. I think the reason I am not so interested in violin much anymore is mainly because of the music I am given. I feel so good when I pick it up and play, but I get bored with classical repertoire, and I just give up. I need to find some truly awesome music - then hopefully I'll get into it again.

(One more tootsie roll)

August already! I am photographing a wedding at the end of the month, -scary!-but I think I will do pretty well. I'm going to have to go to the Salt Lake temple and scout out some photo-worthy spots soon. I'm excited to use the eternity pool thingy. Is that what it's called? Anyway, I think it will be fun, but I have to get my mean on - I'm going to have to fight all sorts of other couples getting married for the good picture places. Someone in my parents' ward used to do portraits, so he has some equipment for me to use. Yay, saved! I'm so relieved; I was very unprepared for this job. Well...I still am. No worries though, I'm pretty good at winging it and making it look like I know what I'm doing. :D

I was discussing my future wedding with my mother yesterday, (Don't worry, I will still probably end up a hermit, though I can now admit that I don't really want to.) and we decided that an excellent first dance would be "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard, one of the greatest bands to grace the earth. Yes yes that's right, I am totally having a rock and roll wedding. Big sunglasses, leather, dark red and grey everything, guitars, and lots and lots of loud music. It will pretty much be the best wedding ever. Now for a man... haha

I better get back to work. :) Lurve