Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Hibernation Would Be Nice

Today is one of those days where I am just tired. Tired of the immaturity that surrounds me and sometimes comes from me.
I'm tired of my job that doesn't suit me, and hypocritical coworkers who always manage to get under my skin for one reason or another, whether it be trying to put blame elsewhere, self-glorification, or just slacking off and constantly competing with me or others. No, you're not better at my job than me, so stop trying to be subtle and catch me doing something wrong in order to glorify yourself, because it just won't happen.
I'm tired of listening to a friend of mine be insulted behind his back from someone who has neither right nor basis for insulting him, all for the sake of trying to be funny, or for trying to make others like him less. It's rude and un-Christlike, which is not cool coming from someone so strong in the gospel. It hurts my feelings every time.
I'm tired of my own indecision! I need to make critical choices that are harder to make than I thought, and I keep changing my mind about them. I never thought my life would be this crazy. I'm hoping to get some answers today while I fast. Argghh.
I'm tired of being surrounded by men interested in me who I am NOT interested in and who won't leave me alone about it. I have been very good about not giving off the wrong signals lately, and that seems to have made it worse! I'm sick of guys being unsympathetic to what I want and to what I'm like, and not getting to know me at all. I'm tired of being stereotyped based upon one part of me, and to have conversations with guys who will constantly bring up the one thing we have in common and not try to get to know me any further whatsoever.
I'm tired of my own dramaaaa. I have always hated drama, and it irritates me to see what I'm writing, but I need to put it somewhere so I don't blow up in someone's face today. :D
I am tired of being stuck between friends that I would rather not hang out with anymore. I sometimes just want them to forget me.
I'm tired of people taking over my interests and trying to be better at them than me, and many times achieving that.
I'm tired of my efforts being ignored.
I'm tired of doing the same thing every day.
I'm tired of people telling me that I should "Smile!"
I'm tired of the stupid fruit flies that buzz around here.
I'm tired of being self-pitious, and tired of looking at this computer screen, so I'm going to close in saying that hibernation would be nice today. :)

1 comment:

Linds said...

I feel your pain with the indecision. I'm trying to decide what to do with my life and getting nowhere. Photography never really felt wrong or right, and the start of fall semester I got a big fat no. So now I'm back to square one. It's great. I totally feel your pain because I changed my mind like three times before coming to SLCC and now I'm changing it again. Go listen to the song I posted on my blog. It made me feel better. :D