Hello! Lovely Silly

I highly recommend everybody go to the link on the right-hand side of my page for Engrish.com. It's the most hilarious website ever, seeing as how it's all about the dreadfully sad bits of English text found in other countries. Something tells me that their translators didn't really speak English fluently. Or...at all. A lot of it kind of looks like someone just picked up an English dictionary and tried to form complete sentences using their own sentence structure, like many people do. Others are just portraying the fetish for random English words that foreigners seem to love - apparently the same way Americans enjoy, say, Japanese characters on their clothing without actually knowing what it says, according to my sister, who went to Japan. But the results, as shown in the website, are destructively hilarious. :D Feel enjoy!

Want to know how much people love me? Well, certain people, at least. One of my friends apparently values my friendship so much that I can call her an elephant (not....directly, of course) and she will not even argue! This is truly an amazing gift!

I haven't heard from the man of my dreams for a while. At least I think he is the man of my dreams. He certainly is my type, and I think if I were to get him into some breeches like Mr. Darcy, I would be perfectly content for life. I'm wondering though if he really feels about me how I have been hoping he does. I dunno, I'm trying to not let myself get too attached, but it's kind of difficult. :) It's always the guys I want that I have a hard time actually getting. Everyone else won't leave me alone, but the one I want, noooooo, he can't be a good boy like the others. And more than once it's been this way. What is with that?

My guitar lesson was pretty cool; I'm excited to continue my skills. (or, rather...GET some skills) I was a little sad though when I cut my nails so that I could play. Stupid, I know, but longer nails make my hands look less manly. :D By the way, I found the bass guitar I want. Hohohoooo so cool. It's a nice starter bass, so it's pretty inexpensive, and comes with an amp. And it's red. Perfect. What I'd REALLY like to get is a stand-up bass, but I'm not rich. And I think after I get pretty decent at the bass I will go for cello. Cellos are sexy. Sexy-awesome. I want to be able to play some Apocalyptica songs one day. :D

I'm just about finished with the comic strip I did for a friend. It's pretty dang amazing, except the motorcycle looks a little funny. But it's a comic strip, who's going to care?

Not him, I hope. O_o

Wasting Away In An Idle Stupor

I'm bored.

There's not enough work here.

And I'm trying to sort through some old stuff so that I can actually claim some accomplishment today, but the website I need is down. Of course.

That leaves blogging. Unfortunately nothing much has happened since yesterday. I did some shopping, started a new book, sat in a massage chair, and ate some muffins. Hooplah. Let me instead bring up something that I want to do in the near future:

I have wanted to do something like this for a while, and some of my friends have started it, so I don't see why I shouldn't. I'd like to merge my love of photography and design into my blog somehow, so I'm thinking that maybe once a week I will post some photograph I have taken specifically for the purpose of capturing something that I find beautiful and sharing it. There are a few photo shoots that I have been wanting to direct, but I can't do that until I have space for them in my section of the house, so for now I'll just take my camera with me everywhere and see what I can come up with. :D Hopefully you all can appreciate and enjoy the simple things that I do, in photograph form. Feel free to leave comments or critiques when I begin (I know some of you are photographers as well, and just love this kind of stuff. :D)

On a side note, I'm not sure how crazy I am about this back corner desk anymore. Yeah, it's great for privacy and stuff, and the fact that I am against a real wall instead of other cubicle walls makes me kind of feel like I have an actual office and therefore makes me feel more important, but it is a lot easier for people to sneak up on me because my peripheral vision is limited. Most people don't mean to do it, but then there are those like one of my friends here who enjoys hiding around the corner, waiting for me to walk out and unexpectedly see her there, lurking in wait. Ha ha ha. Very funny indeed.

Oh look, now the entire system is down. "You are not authorized to view this page."

Wanna bet? Stupid server.

Thoughts

I'm going to be serious here for a moment. I have been thinking, and about a lot of things. I need to put my thoughts into words to stay sane.

I have been noticing some things lately:

1. Change is difficult for me to accept. I have a sort of fervor toward things new, so why is it so difficult to take hold and accelerate those changes? Or at least to not start them and then be afraid to commit to them? I suspect fear, plain and simple. The funny thing about fear is that there are so many different forms, levels and layers of it that you can spend your whole life with it and not even notice. It's so easy to cover up and push aside; even to accept and justify, but what is it really keeping us from? I have missed out on an unfathomable amount of opportunities in my life that could have done me loads of good and given me invaluable lessons, all because I did not want to come out of the safety net that held me near the things I am familiar with. And I mean the little things too. I could have been concert mistress in junior high. I could have won spelling bees or science fairs. I could have taken those dance classes and right now could be really fantastic at something that I love to do. I could have more friends, more relationships, more connections, more talents, more experience, more confidence and more fun if I would just let go of that tiny sliver of fear that keeps me from being who I really am.

2. I have been very diligent in keeping my expectations low so as to not be disappointed when things don't turn out in my favor, but for the first time I realize how difficult it is to loosen my hold on something I've already set my heart on.

3. I have always thought that I don't care what people think about me, but I really do, and I want them to think good things.

4. I have never in my life been so bemused as to which career path I should take. Ever. And I can't shake the feeling that I am running out of time.

5. I have heard it said that things can become most difficult when you are on the right path in your life, so I'm hoping that all of this signifies a happy ending, granted I stick it through.

And 6. I have never been more grateful and relieved to have the Gospel in my life and to know that it will all work out.

Insecurity

Somebody please tell me: how does one convince themself that the nice things people say are true? Shouldn't it be natural to assume that they are, without doubting them, because they are kind? Hmmm.

On a different note, today is pay day. :) And I have a little laugh for you:

Funny work conversation today:

Coworker 1 (to Coworker 2): I hope you get eaten by a 10 foot-inch snake.
Me: Foot-inch?
Coworker 2: Don't ask questions, Heather.

Two Gum Fiascos in 20 Minutes

Fiasco #1: In one of the UPS packages I received in the mail today, someone from one of our branches put a pack of gum in with my regular mail, as well as some stuff she wanted me to transfer to another employee in my building. Since I do not normally get treats from the branches anymore, I assumed the gum was for the coworker, and so gave it to her. However I found out that the gum was intended for me, and now I feel really really bad for giving away a present. I wanted that gum, too. *pout* I rarely get treats, and when I do, I give them away like a doofus. I am saddened. And so, to further illustrate this doofusness, I will go on to Fiasco #2: My friend gave me a piece of gum before I got my packages in. Chewing away happily, I began to go through my notes, making sure they are originals and drawn up correctly and what not. While double-checking a particular signature that did not look original, I let my mouth hang open just slightly and there went the gum, right on the note! (which WAS original, by the way.) After staring in horror at my idiocy, (These are original notes - the $$ of the loan, and if I ruin one I am officially stupid.) I was able to realize that the gum was not stuck to the paper at all and I was saved. So, nothing truly extraordinary really happened, but blog-worthy nonetheless.

Oh! And I figured out why my posts are mostly about work. You ready to hear this?

........

It's because I have no life.

I Need Front Row!

Dave Matthews is coming in August. Well, the Dave Matthews BAND is coming in August, but obviously, Dave Matthews is the only one I'm interested in, since he has the sexiest lips known to man. (His music is good too :D) I want to go more than I want food or air, but it's a bit expensive. However, I think I will just have to pay for the good tickets anyway, seeing as how I am going to be throwing him my panties.

Musings

First off, the funeral for Lucas was absolutely beautiful. I'm going to miss him terribly, but I'm so glad his battle is over and he's in the safety of Heavenly Father's arms. :)

So BYU has a language program that sounds interesting. I just might end up going there after all. Now I just need to find a job that will pay for my schooling. :D haha! I have been looking for houses/apartments down there though; I'm getting pretty excited, we'll see what happens.

(Gah, I have eaten so many tootsie rolls today, and it's only noon.)

So, I wish to express my confusion concerning the male mind. I will never understand it. There's this guy at work who I would flirt with at the printer and who I was told was interested in me, so one day I tell him how awesome his shirt is, and he hasn't talked to me since. ..... Hello? what does that mean? I don't get it. Good thing I lost interest in him or else I might go crazy overthinking it and wondering what was so blatantly obvious about his shirt that was so terribly wrong I should have noticed and never commented on it in the first place or something. O_o I could go on for days on the subject of male minds, but it hurts thinking about it.

I start guitar lessons this coming Thursday. I haven't taken lessons since high school - a friend of the family is teaching me in exchange for violin lessons. How utterly terrifying. I haven't played violin much since I graduated high school, and even then, I switched to guitar and bass my senior year, only playing violin for the musical. Needless to say, I don't have much confidence in the teaching area. Though I did ok teaching two of my siblings, they are younger. I don't know how to teach adults. We will see what happens I guess; I just hope I don't teach something entirely incorrect. I don't want to be responsible for corrupting someone. yikes. How does Chelsea do it? Teach, I mean. She is a brave soul. I think the reason I am not so interested in violin much anymore is mainly because of the music I am given. I feel so good when I pick it up and play, but I get bored with classical repertoire, and I just give up. I need to find some truly awesome music - then hopefully I'll get into it again.

(One more tootsie roll)

August already! I am photographing a wedding at the end of the month, -scary!-but I think I will do pretty well. I'm going to have to go to the Salt Lake temple and scout out some photo-worthy spots soon. I'm excited to use the eternity pool thingy. Is that what it's called? Anyway, I think it will be fun, but I have to get my mean on - I'm going to have to fight all sorts of other couples getting married for the good picture places. Someone in my parents' ward used to do portraits, so he has some equipment for me to use. Yay, saved! I'm so relieved; I was very unprepared for this job. Well...I still am. No worries though, I'm pretty good at winging it and making it look like I know what I'm doing. :D

I was discussing my future wedding with my mother yesterday, (Don't worry, I will still probably end up a hermit, though I can now admit that I don't really want to.) and we decided that an excellent first dance would be "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard, one of the greatest bands to grace the earth. Yes yes that's right, I am totally having a rock and roll wedding. Big sunglasses, leather, dark red and grey everything, guitars, and lots and lots of loud music. It will pretty much be the best wedding ever. Now for a man... haha

I better get back to work. :) Lurve